Alone

This piece is part one of two

This piece is something that happened at the last Dystopia Rising Game I went to. I tried doing a piece that sort of explained the aftermath of it, but I never got to a point that did it justice. Here is attempt number two, only this time, it’s me recording the event from my character’s perspective. Also, normally, I don’t put this reminder up since most of the information I post is well known. Not all of this is well known, so please remember to keep this out of game until you find out in game. 🙂

**********

“We’re going to fix his head?”

“What will happen to him?”

“I don’t know.”

Jeanie sat on the cot, clutching the spear in her hand. On the bed in front of her lay her Ascensorite, her Sliphox. His eyes were closed, one of his paws was grasped into Radimir’s hand, and beyond the occasional twitch of his free paw or feet, he didn’t move. Then again, this may be the last that he was her Sliphox.

“Why didn’t I earn your name?” Radimir asked.

“Because you didn’t bloom,” he snarls.

Jeanie sighs. “When I fought him, he was mean. He was nasty. He hurt me. He expected me to crumble. To submit to him. I didn’t. I stood up to him. Every time you talk to him, you do exactly as he expects.”

He laughs. Such a harsh voice coming from the one that normally was so protective and so kind. “Look, even the Iron Slave gets it” he spits out.

Sliphox was always so kind. He was the one who always understood. He didn’t question. He didn’t order. He didn’t ever treat her as if she were nothing more than just an Iron Slave. He was the one who she felt free around. And now Radimir was digging in his head and trying to get rid of him and Saben. Trying to make it so only Caleb was left. Caleb was not Sliphox. Caleb was a kid. Caleb wasn’t the same. Caleb didn’t know how to help. At least it wasn’t Saben.

“Why does he call you the dog?” Radimir asked. He was trying to completely understand why Saben and Sliphox existed.

“It’s an insult.” The answer was given. The look of shock on the normally kind face said everything. How could Radimir so stupidly not understand?

Once again, Jeanie sighed. Lowered head, feeling the painful and overwelming sense of submission to someone who so clearly wanted nothing more than power over those in front of him. “It’s the same as an Iron Slave. People call Iron Slaves dogs or cattle or animals. It’s a way of treating us as not people. Sliphox doesn’t like him. Doesn’t want to acknowledge him as having intelligence or being worth anything. So Sliphox calls him a dog as a way of saying, he isn’t worth anything more.”

Jeanie could feel him glance over at her.  “Once again, the Iron Slave gets it.”

Jeanie shuddered. There had been a lot of work, a lot of research, to make sure this “surgery” was successful. Radimir was very clear. He wanted Jeanie here. He wanted her help. Psionic surgeries like this were dangerous. They could kill the psion doing the work and the person whose head they were digging in. So every painful conversation. Every chance of trying to figure out why Caleb, the child, had created Sliphox and Saben, meant Jeanie had to be around. According to Radimir, Jeanie knew them better than anyone else. It was important.

Fuck importance. This silence, his stillness, it was stifling.

“Jeanie,” his gentle voice, “What is your vote?”

“I don’t know,” her voice broke as she fought back her tears.

“Well, what are you thinking?”

“You promised not to leave me.”

“I know.”

“Am I going to lose you?”

He sighed and pulled her close to him.  “I don’t know.”

Jeanie shook in his arms. “Is it bad that I don’t know? Do I have to chose?”

“No. It isn’t bad and no, you don’t have to chose.”

Jeanie’s hand gripped his spear more tightly. Her fingernails started to dig into the wood and she leaned her forehead against the shaft of the spear. What if she had voted the way she wanted? What if she had told him not to do this? He had said the vote was very close to even. Would that have meant that Radimir was outvoted? Would that have meant that she didn’t have to sit here and watch as this stupid Red Star worked to take away the best thing in her life?

“Caleb?” Radimir asked.

Jeanie glanced over at the Ascensorite. A lump caught in her throat. An overwhelming sense of emptiness washed over her.

Radimir succeeded.

The Ascensorite opened his eyes and looked around at everyone who was waiting: Sol, Bambi, Anne, Locke…

It wasn’t him. It wasn’t Sliphox. Sliphox was gone. Saben was gone. Caleb… This wasn’t even the Caleb everyone knew. What everyone knew? All of that was gone? This was… someone else. Jeanie wasn’t a head shrinker. She wasn’t a doctor or a psion. She barely understood people. But she knew her Ascensorite, her mate…

And this wasn’t him.

He was gone.

Jeanie stood and leaned the spear against the wall. She pushed past Bambi and Anne. She had to get away. He promised. He said he wouldn’t leave. And then he let Radimir take him away. He was supposed to be Rover born. He was supposed to keep his promise. He had cut his hand to prove he would keep it and he just let Radimir destroy everything as if the stupid Iron didn’t matter.

Cause Irons never matter.

Jeanie hurried from the room. Her eyes darted quickly around the bar. She had to hide. But she couldn’t. She was just a stupid Iron. It was night. Her glow was easily seen by everyone. There, lots of chairs. No one went up on the platform. No one sat in those chairs. People would leave her alone.

Just like they always did.

So she ran. Fast as she could, around the tables and chairs and couches and damn it, why did people leave everything out like this. She climbed over the tables in her way. Climbed up on the platform, over the massive numbers of chairs to one that people couldn’t easily get to. She dropped into it and let the shiney pure blood stick fall to the floor.

She let out the breath she had been holding in.

She let out the tears that had been threatening to fall since Sliphox first lay down on the cot.

Her body shook.

And once again, Jeanie was completely…

Alone.

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