Confession

This is inspired by the events of the last Dystopia Rising game I attended. Jeanie is my own original character but the other characters are creations of the other players and presented here with their permission and as true to their player’s vision as I can muster. If you like zombies or post apocolyptic stories/games, then seriously go check out the work of Eschaton Media. The stuff they produce is amazing.

Anyway…

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Jeanie sat quietly staring at the mug of hooch in her hand. It was weak. Certainly wouldn’t do the job if one was planning on getting trashed. Bambi had brought it to the Summerwind Meal. Dumb bitch should know the difference between a weak ass drink like this shit and something of quality. Jeanie grumbled and rolled her eyes as she took another sip. Bitch was a fucking brewer. Should at least have something better distilled than this. Maybe Jeanie should teach her a lesson. Strap her down and drill a hole into her skull. Use the brain fluid as the base for a better crafted drink.

Jeanie glanced over at Bambi and slowly placed the mug down on the stone wall. Her other hand wrapped around the wooden handle of her knife.

A fur paw, wrapped itself tightly around Jeanie’s wrist. “No.”

Jeanie spun her head to face Caleb. Fucking ascensorite, stepping in and stopping all of Jeanie’s kills. Jeanie would have to find Raven later. The Reaper would love to help Jeanie remind Caleb of the problems that could occur when you take someone’s kills. Jeanie grinned, imagining how much fun it would be to tie him down and set his long red hair aflame. Watch him scream and struggle against the rope while the flames licked closer and closer to his skull.

“Just how do you plan on stopping me this time?” Jeanie glared.

Caleb glanced over to Murphy. The ascensorite had grabbed her shield and was gripping her sword tightly. Behind her Big Boss had his hands tightly curled into fists, his arms tense and ready to swing. “Jeanie, tell me about science!” Murphy asked with excitement, despite the fact that her face continued to show concern. “Tell me about how you use all that science to prove Darwinism.”

Jeanie glared at Murphy. “This is how you plan on stopping me? Science? And Darwinism? You’re an ascensorite. Proving Darwinism would not work for you.”

“I’m a winter. Studying works for me. Just because I am not a Darwinist, does not mean I don’t want to better understand it.”

“And how does being a winter give you any interest in my faith?” Jeanie glanced down to where Caleb gripped her wrist and tried to wrench free from his grasp. He shook his head and repeated his command. “No.”

“I’m a winter. I want to learn. The more I know of your faith, the more I understand my own. Teach me.”

“Fine,” Jeanie muttered and reached for the mug of hooch with her free hand. She threw her head back and quickly downed the rest of the shitty drink. She then looked back over at her wrist and tried to wrench it free again. “Will you let go of me?”

“Are you going to put the knife down?”

“Yes, I’m going to put the knife down. Geese.”

Caleb let go of Jeanie’s wrist. He watched the Iron for a moment before wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close to him. He gently kissed the top of her head. “I love you.”

Everyone returned to their seats and the food in front of them. They were silent, waiting on Jeanie. Everyone was tense and the weapons were all in quick reach. Jeanie shook her head and rolled her eyes as she began to explain the science of Darwinism. Murphy continued to question Jeanie’s message, comparing and contrasting her own Winter beliefs to the Darwinistic science being explained. Slowly, the need to cause suffering began to ease up. Jeanie began to relax and giggle with the excitement of discussing her faith.

Caleb sighed and looked off to the field leading down the hill of Pequod Port. “I’m going for a walk,” he muttered as he stood. His left hand shifted, as they more tightly squeezed the bells he held. His turned to face Jeanie and carefully caressed her cheek with his right hand. “I’ll be back.” Then he turned and left the group and began to walk down the hill.

The glowing Iron watched her mate walk down the hill for a moment.

If you’re that upset about your fucking bells that you can’t find a damn reason to live, then tell me. I’ll kill you right now and I promise you that I will enjoy every fucking moment of it.

All it would take is a good set of chains wrapped around his limbs and he’d see he wasn’t free like the wind. He’d scream before she even touched him with a knife.

Jeanie grinned, imagining how much fun it would be to tie him down and set his long red hair aflame. Watch him scream and struggle against the rope while the flames licked closer and closer to his skull.

The Iron tried to swallow the lump that formed in her throat as she watched him walk away. All the memories of wanting to murder him and make him suffer screaming louder and louder in her mind, reminding her of the awful things she had done and thought and said since the Thrill Kill Raiders had taken her into their den.

She glanced back at the rest of the group. Murphy and Big Boss had both relaxed and were sharing a kiss with each other. Bambi was watching Jeanie.

“Jeanie, you okay?” the Natural One asked quietly.

Maybe Jeanie should teach her a lesson. Strap her down and drill a hole into her skull. Use the brain fluid as the base for a better crafted drink.

Jeanie looked around a moment and tried, again, to swallow the growing lump in her throat. She quickly clipped her empty metal mug to her belt and grabbed her two scrounging bags, slinging them over her shoulder. She turned and looked around Pequod for a moment before climbing over the rock wall and bolting across the field to… somewhere else. Anywhere else.

“Jeanie!” Voices called after her. The Iron kept running. She started coughing from the lump in her throat and the breath that she couldn’t catch from running. Her eyes blurred as the tears began to spill. The Iron’s foot caught on a rock and she tumbled forward to the floor of the forest around her.

“Jeanie, wait!” There was the pounding of footsteps running across the ground behind her.

There was a pause as the Natural One stopped and sat down beside the lump of an Iron on the ground. She was quiet for a moment. “I want to say it’ll get easier, but it won’t.”

“I just tried to kill you.”

“But you didn’t.”

Jeanie sat up and brushed the pine needles off and tried to hide the tears on her face. It may be night, but Jeanie’s glow made it so that Jeanie could not hide things easily. She didn’t want Bambi to see this. “I tried to kill Caleb.”

“But you didn’t. I killed Charlie. You didn’t kill anyone.”

“I wanted to.”

“So did I.”

“Bambi, the Raiders didn’t make me want to kill. That was already there. They just… they stopped me from hiding it anymore.”

“And now you want to kill for the fun of it.”

Jeanie nodded and finally glanced over at Bambi. “Caleb hates me now.”

“What?” Bambi shook her head. “No, he loves you.”

Jeanie looked down on the ground. “He’s only around because he promised he wouldn’t leave and he was raised by Rovers. But he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“He would do anything to keep you safe. Trust me.”

“Only because he promised he would. He hasn’t loved me since before the Thrill Kills. They made it so I don’t hide what I think anymore and now he sees me and sees who I am and he doesn’t love me anymore. He won’t look at me much anymore. Just stares off into the woods. And he doesn’t say much anymore or do much of anything like he did.”

“No. Caleb has changed too. Sliphox is gone. There’s a lot on his mind. He’s going through some stuff. He still loves you. He still wants you around him.”

“Then why does he keep walking off?”

“You just ran off too. Sometimes, people need to be alone. He keeps coming back to you. That isn’t going to stop.”

Jeanie sighed and shook her head. She just sat there, unsure of what to say. She didn’t bother hiding the tears anymore.

“Jeanie,” Bambi shifted closer to the Iron, “The Thrill Kills didn’t do anything to stop Caleb from loving you. He’s smart and he knew who you were and loved you for that. He’s just stressed and doesn’t know what to do about it. He’s afraid for you. Afraid of everything else. And now he’s Speaker and can’t do much to deal with it. He keeps coming back to you.”

Jeanie shrugged. “I don’t want to lose him. I can’t.”

Bambi nodded. “I know. And you won’t.”

They sat quietly for awhile, listening to the trees around them. Eventually, Jeanie stopped crying and her breathing slowed down to normal. Bambi just sat there, not speaking, and not leaving, just making sure that Jeanie wasn’t alone. After some time, Bambi suggested they return to everyone else. “Murphy and Big Boss are probably worried about us for running off.”

Jeanie rolled her eyes and muttered, “of course that Bitch would worry. Besides, I could do far worse to her than she probably worries I’m doing to you now. I wonder how the fucking winter would feel if I lit her fucking braids on fire and yanked them til the charms tore from her scalp.”